Telling it like it is.
Confessions of the not at all rich or famous:
1.
My kitchen floor is often the crunchiest thing about me. I am a filthy pig. Really.
2.
I vacillate between a paralyzing level of insecurity and delusional levels of narcissism.
3.
I often find motherhood to be excruciatingly, mind numbingly, dizzyingly boring.
4.
Some Most days lately I spend more time on my computer than I do in focused and joyful interaction with my children.
5.
I feel that bubble skirts, leggings with skirts and skinny jeans (most especially skinny jeans) are examples of cyclical fashion gone wrong. I don’t much care if this means I have to hand in my fashionista card for good, because I’m fairly certain that if the fashion gods saw me now, they’d revoke it anyway.
6.
I am pathetically easily led; to the extent that I’ll probably end up eventually wearing some watered down, filtered for the benefit of Middle America version of the above and even believe they look good on me. Yuck.
7,
I almost never write thank you notes.
8.
I’ve never met anyone as selfish as me. Seriously.
9.
I’ve been worried lately that people are going to use Bella’s behaviour as an example of why children need to be spanked and I’m about 99% 100% sure that this is all my fault*.
10.
Since giving birth to my second child, I seem to definitely drink far more often than I used to. I feel that alcohol consumption is an excellent response to stress. And I’m not ashamed that I like girly drinks like wine coolers with names like “Mango Passion”. They taste better than your super cool micro-brew. I’d bet my skinny jeans on it.
Now it’s your turn – either in the comments section or at your own blog – I challenge you to come clean with your own Good, Bad and Ugly Confessions. Can’t wait to read them.
*Edited to add:
Just wanted to clarify that I’m not thinking her behaviour is my fault becuase I didn’t spank, nor am I considering spanking….just that I know I have not been the type of parent I want to/need to be for her.
And - I’m loving all your confessions…doesn’t this feel good. Unburdening is good for the soul - I think.:) Keep the truth telling going….You know you’ve got some deep dark secrets you’re dying to share with the universe…
I love you for your confessions… especially 4 and 5. My confessions would be pretty similar to yours, but I will endeavor to do this as soon as I finish working on this paper that is due for work ….. MORE SOON.
Comment by JK — 09.07.06 @ 6:05:08
I will work on mine
Comment by em — 09.07.06 @ 2:10:35
Your confessions inspired me to want to get a few off my back as well:
1. There are always clothes/towels in my dryer that need to be put away. I hate putting them away.
2. My 3 year olds are not completely potty trained yet and this frustrates me a lot — makes me feel like I haven’t done something right.
3. I bribe my children with stickers, snacks etc. to get them to do what I want.
4. I order take-out food way too much.
5. I haven’t mopped my floor in so long I’m embarrassed to even try to recall when it was.
6. I am doing this on work time right now.
Comment by Beth — 09.07.06 @ 5:42:22
Dude. Yours are mine! And I love yours (and you). Does that mean that I must embrace my perceived “bad” qualities. Hmmm? Off to ponder!
Comment by Ninotchka — 09.07.06 @ 6:08:18
Minus #7, I could have totally written that myself. Every word. Might I add one more…my car floor is covered in bags of stuff-to-be-returned that I purchased just to bribe Hana into getting through another trip to another store…My poor kids…I drag them on WAY to many pointless errands and shopping trips. Then totally give-in to the 4 yr old begging for crap that she most definitely does not need. I come to my senses and end up returning it all with my tail between my legs.
And oh my god the skinny jeans. Are they kidding us? Not even the models look good in those. I keep bemoaning this, but I’m totally with you…I know in just a few months (weeks?) I’ll be sporting soem Target or Old Navy version too….Ho hum…
Comment by Jess — 09.07.06 @ 8:29:44
Okay, mine are up on my blog!
Comment by em — 09.08.06 @ 2:28:17
Jeanette, what a raw, honest post. Very touching and comforting. I can also echo much of your ‘confessions’, esp. the messiness and the vascillations between extreme pride (hubris) and insecurities. To this I add:
1. I am ashamed of Ella’s obsession with looks–the desire to be ‘pretty’ and to surround herself with ‘pretty’ things and people, including the fascination with princesses, tiaras, dresses, and all things girly. It makes me feel like I’ve done something very very wrong.
2. Given the choice, I would almost always choose to spend time endlessly snuggling my baby and gazing into her eyes then give Ella the quality time she also needs and deserves. I am easily frustrated with her and worry I expect her to act older then she is.
3. I micromanage and when accused of doing so think to myself ‘yes, this is because I know best’. I guess this related to the narcissm mentioned above.
4. I love having an excuse not to work (outside the home) right now. I say it’s for the kids and best for our family (and I guess it is) but right now I also find it much easier and it makes me feel lazy.
5. I have horrible time management skills and given an empty day will very often find I will accomplish absolutely nothing meaningful.
On a better note, I love your new slideshow. Your photography is amazing. Do you think you could let us know when there are updates in your Photoblog? I wish I could set a Bloglines just for this in addition to your regular blog but I don’t think that’s possible.
Also, I agree with a poster from a few days ago who asked for a Bella update. Please…?
Comment by Bonnie — 09.08.06 @ 3:41:18
Okay J, here it goes:
1. I like the weekends John has the kids because it’s a chance to feel single and untethered again.
2. I am addicted to the Internet.
3. I get really bored reading to the kids sometimes, especially some of Ivan’s books.
4. I love washing laundry, but cannot bring myself to fold it very often.
5. I sometimes put a movie on for the kids just so I can sit on the porch and read and be alone.
Anyway, I miss you Jeanette, and hope you’re well.
Comment by Heather — 09.08.06 @ 7:15:12
My first post and I am going to air my dirty laundry…ok here goes:
1. I often finish not only what is on my plate at supper…but what the kids refuse to eat as well…and then I complain about not knowing WHY I am gaining weight.
2. I haven’t checked my oil in months. Yes I said months. Isn’t that WHY we get married?
3. I have, on behalf of the Tooth Fairy, left a deposit under my sons pillow using money from his piggy bank! I replaced it I swear…but with Debit Cards who has cash?
4. I have from time to time done dishes, made beds and dusted in my wedding dress. It seems easier when I feel pretty!
5. I read enless Nora Roberts novels. One after another. Then I get angry with Mike because he doesn’t carry me upstairs or get into a fist fight with every man who looks my way.
Off to have a wine cooler in my skinny jeans…
Comment by Nicole — 09.08.06 @ 9:08:31
Ohh therapy!
1. I thought motherhood would make me youthful. It has aged me instead.
2. I thought I would be completely fulfilled by full time motherhood. Now I am working on a second career.
3. I thought that I would homeschool my children forever. I just enrolled my oldest in Kindergarten, and if they had a free preschool my youngest would probably be in it, too.
4. My child listens to her teacher and is one of the best behaved children in class. I wonder why she respects a stranger– and the reward of stickers and lollipops– more than her own mother.
5. I still get zits. And I still pop them.
6. I don’t know what the latest fashiones are. And I don’t care.
7. I’m glad Abi wears uniforms to school so no one will tease her because her mother dresses her funny.
8. My husband offered to clean out the cat box when I got pregant with Nitara. I convinved him that he should contine to do it as long as she was getting my breastmilk. Breastmilk is gone. He is still doing it, 3.5 years later. Because I never told him to stop.
9. When I see a pregnant woman I secretely think to myself, “I’m glad it’s her and not me.”
10. When Nitara was born I was secretly glad she did not want to cosleep. But sometimes at night I will sneak into her bed and spoon her and delight when she snuggles into me in her sleep. Because it’s the only time that her busy toddler self likes to snuggle anymore. And now I regret that she’s not a family bed baby.
Comment by Darshani — 09.09.06 @ 3:25:26
There are way too many for me to post here, but here’s a sampling:
1. There are (numerous) week old cat barf, dog barf, spilled food stains on our carpet that have yet to even be TOUCHED.
2. I have bought new clothes simply because I didn’t want to do laundry to find my “favorite” pair of pants or a shirt.
3. I sometimes put purchases on my credit card so my husband doesn’t find out about them. Not because he would really care but because I just don’t want to have to justify them.
4. I love to poop.
5. I use my flirting skills and boobs (okay, not REALLY my boobs) to get things for free or to get exceptions made.
6. I flunked out of my first year of college, not because of any learning disability, but because I’d rather sleep.
7. I sometimes sleep on my sheets and pillowcase even though they are covered in dog hair.
8. I have eaten 3 entire loaves of Dominoes CinnaStix (in one sitting) in one week’s time. I have eaten an entire box of Thin Mints in one sitting.
9. I love to brag about homebirth. I act like all other birthing options are great and that women should choose whatever they want, but really I believe that homebirth is the best.
10. I think I’ve only donated maybe %$20 to charity in my entire lifetime.
Comment by Leigh — 09.09.06 @ 5:04:42
Wow. This is hard.
1. I always thought I’d be a good mom, but I don’t really think I am now. I am impatient, and the chaotic nature of childhood, which I love in my head, makes me nuts in real life.
2. I am more patient with my second graders (as their teacher) than I am with my own children sometimes.
3. I read more about yoga, natural health, and natural family living than I can usually bring myself to do.
4. I find the nature of motherhood suffocating often.
5. I wish my husband made more money. Sometimes at the expense of his time with us.
6. I often don’t consume a single vegetable in an entire day.
7. I don’t feel worthy of the beautiful children and loving husband I have. I’m very far from the person I want to be.
8. I get very jealous very easily.
9. I often get on the computer when I tell my husband to take the kids out so I can clean, do laundry, etc…
10. I am a sorry excuse for a person without my coffee in the morning. Oh, and I much prefer stopping for Starbucks than brewing my own, despite the fact that I tell my husband he can’t go out for lunch because it is too expensive.
Comment by Abby — 09.09.06 @ 4:09:20
I took the challenge too.
Comment by GT — 09.10.06 @ 12:52:27
OK, I rose to the challenge. Check my blog. Don’t judge me.
Comment by Jen H. — 09.10.06 @ 2:36:38
I’ll play, I’ll play! This is like your (our) very own postsecret!
1. I let my girl watch too much TV/videos. I fear the long term efects of that.
2. I let my girl have way more sweets that I ever intended. I used to be so good about this, what the hell happened?
3. I recently realized, that my (written)English is not good and I’ve lost my ability to write good Spanish (my mother tongue). So now I am bad at both! This depresses me to no end.
4. I cannot do simple math. Like adding or subtracting without using my fingers. I am deeply embarrased by this.
5. Nobody that knows me in real life would believe this but sometimes I can be very envious. I hide it well.
6. Sometimes my husband pisses me off to no end.
7. I am so so so bad with direcctions. I get lost all the time and I’ve lived in this city for 10 freaking years. Why oh why do I have to be this way? Why can’t I just remember how to get to places? I hate this with a passion.
Whoa that felt good!
Comment by Libby — 09.11.06 @ 3:51:00
Well, with the exception of #10 - this could have been written by me. I don’t know whether to be thrilled that I’m not the only one out there or harder on my self to get more motivated (especially on that kitchen floor thing).
Also, to add my own - I’m becoming horrifyingly antisocial. Now that I have 4 kids I am afraid I might actually forget one or lose one somewhere.
Comment by Andrea — 09.11.06 @ 11:14:32
What a flurry you have created here, dear Jeanette. It induces great angst on my part to even consider ‘outing’ myself anymore than I already do on my blog. In nearly every post I write, I feel like I have diarhea of the mouth and reveal way more than is proper! Or wise. And as a result, I seem to get flack back quite a bit. The only things I could say now would be so controversial that I’d regret it in the morning! Things that no other human - aside from my husband and my mother - should know. But maybe when I’m there in Oct/Nov, we’ll talk…without the internet listening.
Leave it to you, though, to get the conversation *really* going - like the down and dirty stuff that everyone wants to know.
xoxo,
B
Comment by Brooke — 09.12.06 @ 5:40:01
OK, here it goes.
1. Trevor did not recognize what corn or peas were at his last speech therapy session. (Mummy hates them)
2. I would rather sleep with my toddler than with my hubby
3. I have spent whole mornings with the TV on and not going outside for the whole day
4. Yesterday, I was starting to think that spanking might be an option (luckily, it was only briefly, I have a toddler who puts himself into timeout – and a month can go by without one being needed)
5. I had violent thoughts towards another toddler who was not nice to my child
6. I still forget to brush teeth (mine and the little ones)
7. I feel judgment towards other women who never even try to breastfeed, who want C sections, who spank their children, and who give their toddlers coke. Then I get upset when I feel judged by others
8. Most times I love staying at home but others I feel resentful to my husband for being able to pee alone.
9. I once told my hubby that I hadn’t cleaned the toilet for so long because there was the image of the virgin Mary in the scum and I was waiting for vatican confirmation
10. Before we go to bed, lately, we brush crumbs off the sheets because I let Trevor eat his breakfast there so I can get extra sleep
11. Trevor recently referred to beer as “Mummy’s juice” I don’t know where he got that, I drink wine
One thing I haven’t done yet is use the game of hide and seek to get some quiet for a few minutes like my parents did. They also used games like “See how long you can hold your breath”.
Oh, and I also have a fear that soon I’ll think bubble skirts are cool.
Comment by Diane — 09.12.06 @ 6:57:34
Since I laughed so hard and related to so many here are mine…
1. I got fired from my job three weeks ago because my boss’s wife overheard me call him a fucking asshole.
2. I was relieved and devasted from being fired all at the same time.
3. I have kept my kids in daycare full time for the last three weeks while I sit at home contemplating what to do with my life.
4. Some moments I feel completely successful and proud of my accomplishments, other moments I feel like a complete loser.
5. We are in debt because I compulsively overspend.
6. I have secretly started smoking in my garage to help deal with my anxiety.
7. I LOVE television and hate when people say ‘I don’t really watch T.V.’
8. I am a really lazy cook and my husband primarily does all the cooking even though I have more time than he does.
There that’s it- I guess, O-kay I’m off to look for a job.
Linda
Comment by Linda — 09.13.06 @ 10:55:27
1. I don’t like most children.
2. I don’t want to lose weight to be healthier. I just want to be hot for my husband.
3. I am a very jealous of others.
4. I need my ego stroked regularly.
5. I’ve been depressed off & on throughout my life starting about age 12.
6. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I can’t think of anything else right now…or maybe I want to have a few secrets!
Comment by Karen — 09.16.06 @ 4:08:16
1. I don’t like most children.
2. I don’t want to lose weight to be healthier. I just want to be hot for my husband.
3. I am a very jealous of others.
4. I need my ego stroked regularly.
5. I’ve been depressed off & on throughout my life starting about age 12.
6. I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I can’t think of anything else right now…or maybe I want to have a few secrets!
Comment by Karen — 09.16.06 @ 4:08:50
I have one to ad, reminded as it were, by another posted. Several times I have put one of the Things to bed, a lost tooth under their pillow, and then woken up to a child crying “The Tooth Fairy didn’t leave me any money!”
Also, once I remembered but didn’t have any cash, so I called my friend Mike who drove over at 10:30 at night to bring me four quarters.
See? I suck.
Comment by Heather — 09.16.06 @ 6:11:26
Well, it only took 11 days, but I finally did it. I forgot to include “procrastination” on my list.
Comment by S — 09.17.06 @ 8:52:26
I have blogged about my bad parent secret #1 at http://belliesbreastsandbabies.blogspot.com/2006/09/bad-parent-secret-1.html, but I am still waiting for more confessions of bad parenting secrets from my readers! You, however, have done an excellent job of soliciting feedback!
Comment by Tera — 09.26.06 @ 12:53:34
You know, it kinda frightens me that so many of us read this and said “Oh, that’s me!” Seriously, every single one of those applies to me as well.
Comment by Kelly — 09.26.06 @ 2:46:46