"It doesn’t matter whether you are an architect, gardener, or bus driver, everyone has the ability to find the distinct beauty embedded deep inside their daily grind. The problem isn’t capturing our creativity, as individual inspiration is a steady pulse that beats within us all. The problem is keeping those embers hot once we have them in our grasp."
On February 15th 2008, openly gay 15 year old Lawrence King was shot and killed by a fellow classmate. Following several years of taunting, teasing and bullying because of his orientation and appearance, he was killed because he asked another boy to be his valentine.
On December 7th José Sucuzhañay was walking arm in arm with another man in NYC. Several men in an SUV yelled “look at those faggots!”, and proceeded to beat him with a beer bottle and a baseball bat, kicking and punching him as he lay on the ground. José later died from his injuries. The man he was walking with? His brother.
Last December, a California woman was getting out of her car when she taunted by 4 men who said they knew she was gay. She was assaulted, kidnapped and brutally gang raped. How did the men identify her? She had a rainbow gay pride bumper sticker on her car.
I have a rainbow sticker on my car too.
A year and a half ago, as I was just beginning the tentative process of coming out, I wrote this:
“In this new space that I find myself, the tragedy of Sean Kennedy’s death hits me on so many different levels. As I sit here writing this blog post, I suddenly realize that at some point I will be the target of prejudice and hatred. Perhaps - if I’m lucky - not directly, but certainly indirectly. Maybe it won’t happen to me personally, but certainly it will happen to someone I know and care about. I might be blessed and never have anyone say anything to my face, I might not lose any friends, and I might not alienate my beloved family.
But I will know - because I cannot avoid this knowledge - that there are people who will hate me simply because I am being true to myself. People who will stare, whisper and turn me into a thing of curiosity if they get a chance. People who will work hard to exclude me, to limit me, to marginalize me; politically and socially and personally. People whose bigotry and ignorance are so strong that they are sometimes moved to commit unspeakable acts of cruelty and violence. People who cannot see through their own bias to catch a glimpse of the humanity that connects us all.
There are people all around me who already hate me (they just don’t know yet that it’s me that they hate) simply because I no longer align myself with the prevailing cultural notion of exclusive heterosexuality. Doesn’t matter that I don’t exactly know how I do define myself – all it matters is that I’m no longer a part of that club. Although there are no outward signs of this inward transformation - I am already ‘other’. I feel this in a profound way.
If I continue this journey of truth (and really, there is no choice but to continue) there is almost a guarantee that this will become a part of my experience. It might be up close and personal, or it might be at a distance, but it will be.
I live, for the most part, in this liberal utopia – where it is easy for me to forget that much of the world is filled with intolerance and narrow-mindedness. I have chosen to surround myself with people who understand that true equality can know no exception, and who believe, as Ghandi said, that “we must become the change we want to see in the world”. I have, over time, distanced myself from individuals who have rationalized their prejudice with convoluted “truths” taught to them through their religion and education and upbringing.
My little corner of the world is my safe haven. And that’s all well and good as long as I stay in this corner. It’s also nice and easy when I’m not doing a damn thing to rock the boat. But now I’m ready to break free, to own myself, and my truth. As I prepare to step out of my little corner I ask myself, what now? “
Ten and a half years ago, 21 year old Matthew Shepard was killed in a brutal hate crime. Today, one in six hate crimes is motivated by the sexual orientation of the victim. Tomorrow congress is expected to vote on the passage of the Matthew Shepard Act. I urge you to take a moment today to call your representative and ask that they vote to pass this bill.
“Frat boys drunken, screaming, leaning out the windows of their Daddy’s SUV ‘hey, are you a faggot or dyke?” and I wonder what would happen if I met up with them in the middle of the night”
Andrea Gibson, Swingset.
The bumper sticker stays on my car, because fear cannot win. Please make that call.
So much I would like to say about each, but no time to say it in - as I am currently writing my first research paper since 1997! That’s right folks, I’m back in school. Yikes!
I suppose some of you feel as if I dropped a bomb on you, then began repeatedly whacking you on the head with a 2x4, while simultaneously doing the can-can wearing nothing but a g-string - what with my abrupt and unceremonious coming out and immediate segue into gay rights activism. I apologize – the timing was such that things got a lot bigger than me very quickly.
It’s WAY bigger than me, but I’ve got a year-long backlog of wanting to talk to you all about this. You, the people I’ve grown to know over the past eight years through this modern village that is the blogosphere. People who have become real to me, who have inspired me to continually push harder, dig deeper, expose more - because I have learned that at the heart of it all we are all seeking connection. For more than a year the timing was not right to share, and so there is so much that has been stifled, shut down, turned off as I waited to be ready.
And now here we are, my public coming out coinciding with a national rollercoaster - unprecedented levels of election fever, great triumph with Obama’s election and heartbreaking loss as voters in four states decided that gay rights were not human rights, that MY rights were not human rights.
I believed, long before I even contemplated the fact that I would one day belong to this community, that equality can know no exception. Now I feel this at my very core. To walk down the street and know that more than 50% of the people that surround me every day believe that I am less than, not deserving of, immoral, disgusting, deviant, unworthy…unless you have experienced this, there is no way for me to fully communicate to you the reality.
And so there is no way for me to remain silent. To do so would be to deny myself, my humanity, my inherent value and equality and purpose. To do so would be to stifle myself once more – and there is no way I am going to do that.
I want you all to watch this. Regardless of whatever you agree or disagree, if you voted yes or no or didn’t vote at all. Watch this and feel it, with your mind and heart and soul open to what is being said.
I am writing you now with a plea. I already asked you to get loud, to speak out, to add your voice to the millions across the nation who are demanding equality. I’m going to ask you again. This battle will not be won by the gay community alone; in order to move forward we need allies across all communities, all races, all faiths, all orientations, all age groups. We need people who will stand with us, who will shout with us, who will demand with us. We need people like Keith, like Kate, like Patti, like Stacy, like Denise. We need people like you, and we need you NOW – we need you to attend a rally, to make some signs, to write letters, to volunteer, to blog, to start a dialogue with your friends, your neighbors, your church.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
~Martin Luther King Jr
There is a nationwide protest planned for this Saturday, November 15th at 10:30am PST. Here in Phoenix it will be held at Phoenix City Hall at 11:20am. If you live in the local area, please consider attending. Bring your family, bring your friends, bring your dog, but make sure you bring your beliefs in equality and justice and hope.
If you are not local – please visit the website at http://www.jointheimpact.com and find a local event here (events are being held in more than 80 cities in all 50 states, and even in some international locations)
I promise you not a moment will be lost as long as I have heart & voice to speak & we will walk again together with a thousand others & a thousand more & on & on until there is no one among us who does not know the truth: there is no future without love.
~storypeople
This week we simultaneously celebrate victory and mourn defeat. Around the country queer and queer-allied communities cheered as votes were tallied and the US elected a man who once gave this quote:
“Too often, the issue of GLBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. I look forward to working with HRC to end discrimination against GLBT Americans and to ensure that all of our citizens are treated with dignity and respect.”
But while we were lifted by our inclusion in Obama’s acceptance speech and by the potential for change created by a LGBTQ friendly White House, here in Arizona (and in California, Arkansas and Florida) we watched as propositions that sought to limit or remove our rights, status, and equality were ahead from the beginning and remained that way through the night.
How do you process so much joy and so much disappointment at the same time?
I can tell you how I’m going to do it. I’m working today, working hard, on transforming all those emotions - conflicting, heightened, and very real – into hope. A powerful, mind-blowing, consciousness-changing kind of HOPE. We’ve got to move now, before apathy and defeat set into the community. Now, while people are still buoyed by the tides of change that are set to sweep this country. Now, while the emotions are still fresh in our hearts.
“…know that there’s hope for a better world, there’s hope for a better tomorrow. Without hope not only gays, but the Blacks, the Asians, the disabled, the seniors, the us’s…without hope the us’s give up. I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living….you, and you, and you; you’ve gotta give them hope.”
For the past few days I have talked and listened and read and watched as the LGBTQ community across the country express – sometimes utterly unexpected – feelings of sorrow and grief and rage and betrayal at the losses we experienced on Tuesday. There is no doubt; we are feeling this at our very core. There were four states where our equality was on the line, and we lost in every single one. There is no way to avoid the repercussions of those losses. I know that personally I feel very different now than I did prior to election day, the knowledge that the majority of the citizens of this state consider me less than, not worthy of equal rights is a bitter pill to swallow. But it’s dangerous to wallow in those feelings, because they can so quickly turn to hopelessness – and that is the one thing we cannot afford.
Civil rights battles are not won quickly, or easily - they are won over time and with great effort and sacrifice. They are won with a million tiny, infinitesimal shifts far more often than they are won with great seismic changes. The ultimate success of this movement does not hinge on one election, or one act of discrimination, or a single protest. Just as the battle for racial equality did not begin or end with Rosa Parks, the Gay Rights movement that began with Stonewall does not end with Tuesday’s election results. We don’t slink off in defeat now, with our tails between our legs, letting the Christian-right dance with glee on the 18,000+ marriage certificates of same-sex couples in California.
“If you run up an unbroken string of victories in any battle for civil rights, that simply means you waited too long to get to work. Change that matters is never smooth or easy.”
The writing IS on the wall. This IS going to happen. Our community IS going to succeed. But it’s not going to happen overnight, and it’s not going to happen if we don’t lay ourselves on the line and work with everything we have to achieve it. True, we don’t have a Harvey Milk figurehead to rally around, there’s no one person to pin our dreams to – the way the nation did with Obama during this campaign. But this only means we have to take it that much further. We have to rally around each other, we have to create that movement, that wave, that sea change that we so desperately need.
As President Elect Obama himself said – in his masterful speech on race last March:
>“What would be needed were Americans in successive generations who were willing to do their part–through protests and struggle, on the streets and in the courts, through a civil war and civil disobedience and always at great risk–to narrow that gap between the promise of our ideals and the reality of their time.”
Make no mistake, the gap that Obama spoke of - between the promise of our ideals and the reality of our time - widened this week. There is not point in glossing over the truth – we took a huge step backward in the path to equality, and our hearts and spirits took a beating along the way. But because we were pushed backwards, it is more important than ever to be sure that we are not knocked off the track, that we keep pushing forward, that queer and queer-allied people across the nation stand up, dust off, link arms and keep on walking, and writing, and talking and demanding change.
As Milk famously said “Hope is Never Silent”.
So let’s get loud folks. Let’s get real hopeful and real loud. Everything depends on it.
Well now that we’ve exposed that blasted white elephant that’s been hiding her bits behind a tea towel in the corner all year, let’s move on.
Hang on to your hats folks, because it’s going to get a wee bit political ‘round here.
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First, watch this little video, then pull up a chair and lets us have a little talk. I gots me some stuff to say.
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Alrighty…you done now? Comfy? Need a drink? Hungry? I made brownies last night… You’re good? Okey dokey then, lets get started.
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I can’t vote. Doesn’t matter how badly I want do, or how informed I am, or how much this election personally impacts me and the people that I love. It’s irrelevant how I feel about the environment, or the war, or healthcare or equality. I can’t vote. [can you believe they let a tiny little thing like citizenship get in the way of something this important. sheesh]. I can’t vote, but you damn well better be planning on it, because if you don’t, quite frankly, I’ll kick your apathetic, complacent ass somewhere you’re not given the option. Don’t think I don’t mean it.
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As the election date draws near- as I see more, and read more and discuss the issues with a wider range of people - I am filled with an ever-deepening understanding of the importance of this election. I don’t think that it is possible to overstate the magnitude of what will be decided in less than two weeks. The outcome on November 4th has the (near guaranteed) potential to change just about everything.
I’m a liberal. I know, I know, you’re surprised, right? My very first post on this blog stated “I’m so left wing I think my right side is beginning to atrophy from disuse”. Yes. I’m just another loving-logical-left-leaning-lesbian-liberal…
Among other things, I believe in equality for all without exception, that a woman deserves control over her own body, universal access to quality healthcare, that we’ve got to take responsibility for the health of the planet we depend on for life, that everyone should have the ability to make a living wage, full separation of church and state and that we need to get the HELL OUT of Iraq.
If I could vote, I would NOT vote for John McCain.
[I’ll just give you a moment to digest that shocking piece of information. You really didn’t see that one coming – did you?].
Quite honestly, I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket represents one of the most insidiously dangerous possibilities for American leadership I have ever contemplated. I’ve studied both platforms in depth and the choice, to me, is painfully obvious.
If you are planning to vote Republican - especially if you are in possession of two X chromosomes - I have to tell you that I am deeply mystified and confused by your choice.
The McCain platform represents the antithesis of what I believe in as a feminist, as a mother, as a woman living in this world. I have read and researched and listened and I don’t see or feel my core values represented, in fact I see them ignored, dismissed as unimportant, or utterly trampled beneath masochism and theocracy and black and white ideology that doesn’t even come close to representing the very real, beautiful shades of gray world that I live in.
I have talked with many, many people who are planning on voting Republican, and almost without exception their choice has been simplified down to one issue. Gay marriage. Abortion. The War. Which candidate happens to be a ‘better Christian’. The fact that ‘something about Obama just makes me nervous’.
And I want to warn them, “step back and look at the big picture!” Examine every detail of the platform. Learn how McCain and Palin have voted on legislation that impact our earth, our health, violence against women, our economy, our children. Research how they have spent taxpayer funds during their time in office. Examine how well their platform and past history align with those of the Bush administration and think long and hard about whether or not you want four more years of the same shit that got us in this mess for the first place. Leave off the hot button issues, take it all in, take a deep breath and think again. Please, think again.*
I’m living through American election fever for the third time in the almost-decade that I have called the US my home. Once again, I’m on the inside and the outside at the very same time. Caring deeply, knowing that the results affect me as much as they do anyone with an American birth certificate, wanting desperately to make a difference, but still able to stand apart from it all because I carry a different passport. But that fact does not give me a ticket to sit back and let it all pass me by. On the contrary, it gives me even greater responsibility to do what I can to create the change I want to see in the world.
I am struck today but a quote from Martin Luther King Jr.
“We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today. We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now. In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late.”
I feel confronted today, with the fierce urgency of now. With the fear that if this election swings the wrong way, that in four more years it might already be too late.
This election matters, and matters greatly to so many people. To gays and lesbians who are being prevented from obtaining equality, to families without healthcare for whom a simple illness can mean financial hardship or ruin, to soldiers fighting – and dying - in Iraq and the families waiting at home for them, for the water we drink and the air we breath and the planet that must sustain us. This election matters to me, and to you, and to our children. Tomorrow IS today, and it has never been more important to stand up and speak your truth.
NOW is the time. THIS is the place. YOU are the one.
LIVE with intention. CREATE change. MAKE a difference.
VOTE.
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*I don’t normally expend time and energy debating with decided Republican voters though, and although I’m very interested in hearing from both sides, I won’t likely do it here. Not because I don’t believe in the power of respectful debate – but because time is short, and I have to make a choice about where my energy is most effectively used. I’ll answer questions all day long if you’re undecided or if you really want to learn more – but if all someone wants to do is argue with me about how I’m wrong and they are right (while all along I’m thinking I’m right they are wrong)…that’s just not a good use of my precious time. To loosely paraphrase the ever pragmatic Julia* ‘There’s no sense arguing with squirrels” at least I think that’s who said it – hope so ‘cause I use this quote all the time and if it wasn’t her I’ve been giving her credit for years.
